A Toy Dictionary

Today's post is more of an educational look into sex and sex toys. Commonly misused words that lead us to think different things from what you really want!

Dildo Non-vibrating, penis-shaped toy that includes balls

Dong Non-vibrating, penis shaped toy that is basically JUST the shaft, some are even double-ended

Vibrator Vibrating toy for "massage" or sexual pleasure!

Vibrating Egg A small, vibrating, egg-shaped sex toy for vaginal or anal stimulation

Bullet A small and discrete vibrating toy 

Pocket Pussy  Fake vagina, ass, or mouth sex toy for male masturbation

Neon Junior G-Spot Softees

Manufacturing Company: Pipedream

Cost: $7 on Amazon, $12 in most stores

Materials: body safe silicone, plastic

Benefits: waterproof, 1 AA battery, phalate-free

Cons: zero vibration power in all honesty, the battery chamber is effing confusing when it comes down to it

Yeah, it's one double A battery... It shouldn't be that hard to figure out. But apparently the cap doesn't match the battery entirely.

Rating: 1 out of 5

WET's 4-in-1 Lubricants

There is a lubrication company, called WET. I enjoy WET as such, I have had no complaints so far regarding it. (PLUS their website offers FREE SAMPLES. How awesome is that? AND downloadable coupons!)
No tackiness. No sticky. No disgusting flavors.

Anyway... Moving on to the benefits of the 4-in-1 lube! It's warming. It's flavored. It's a massage oil. It's a lubricant.
It does everything, but cook the bacon the next morning! (And I'm sure they're working on that, honestly...)

Manufacturing Company: WET
Cost: $7.95 for a small, $14.95 for a big bottle

Pros: does everything, flavors DON'T suck, smell is NOT overwhelming, doesn't dry out too soon, waterbased, sugar free
Cons: limited flavor selection, even though it is bigger than most

Rating: 3 of 5
As a flavored lube, it does better than most. But it's not slick like a normal lube. For an oral enhancer, it's great, for a massage oil... You'd better be ready for the stickiness. It's nice, because it's sugar free, so you can use it as a normal lube or as an oral lube for a woman.

Coochy Shaving cream

Coochy is kind of a lotion-cream consistency and is primarily used to shave your junk. It's super smooth and comes in a variety of pleasing fragrances.

Manufacturing Company: Coochy
Cost: Amazon sells the big bottles for only $10, a good $7-8 cheaper than most stores

Pros: The anti-rash/irritation formula tends to keep ingrown hairs and red spots away, pleasing scents, smooth feeling afterward, inexpensive, multiple uses (legs, both sex's genital regions, facial hair, armpits, chest, back... If your razor can do it, Coochy can help!)
Cons: None that can be thought of!

Rating: 5 out of 5

Morning Sex!

Morning sex, it's good for your health a new study says! And how exciting is that?!

Honestly, morning sex is always incredibly intimate to me.
Maybe it's because you sleep in the same bed. Maybe it's because it's usually strangely rushed, but gentle, passive sex...
Or maybe it's because they can wake up to your crazy morning hair/breath and still find you sexy enough to want to have sex with you.

This post goes into the benefits of spontaneous "morning passion."

     "Adults who make love first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system.

      Research suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door."

That's right. You are not only happier, but your immune system is willing to do more for you.

It also raises the quality of your hair, skin, and nails. 

Having sex at least three times a week can almost half the risk of a heart attack or stroke.

Having sex every day increases sperm quality and could increase the chances of getting their partner pregnant.

Men in their 50's with a regular sex life have a lower risk of developing prostate cancer.

Don't be reckless.

But at least have you can now have your cake and eat it, too!

Under the Bed Restraints

Manufacturing Company: Sportsheets

Cost: $35 to $55, depending on the website

Amazon has these available at $35, plus shipping. Cirilla's sells them for around $50. It really just depends on where you want to go to buy them.

Materials: Nylon and Neoprene
Closure: Velcro, easy to put on and get off quickly; Cuffs are attached by snap closures

Pros: low cost, easy to stow away, easy to clean, soft, flexible, easy to assemble/disassemble, virtually silent

The cuffs are padded, making it to where even if the restrainee struggles, they will not leave marks.

The cuffs come off, so if you want to have them flip over, you don't have to release your prisoner, just snap the cuff to the other side.

Easily machine washable.

Discreet. Just detach the cuffs when not in use and viola! No one has to know. Especially helpful if you live in a college dorm or have children.

Easy to make fit on ANY mattress. 

Cons: Disappointingly easy to get out of

Rating: 5 of 5

I cannot think of a single reason to downgrade this item from a five star review.

The ease and accessibility, along with being as silent as your partner is, make it too good to pass up.

As a restraint system, it is super cheap, too!

Porn Review: Psycho Parody

Title: Psycho (XXX Parody)
Producing Company: Zero Tolerance
Rating: 4 out of 5


The scenes into the porn and foreplay area seem to drag on for what feel like eternity.
Every scene starts with pussy eating. Boring.
Every scene takes the girl at least 20 minutes to get undressed. Boring.
In the end, it seems like the sex scenes really did just drag on forever.

There are a few scenes that make this worth it.
If you like pussy eating, dick sucking, and ending facials... You'll love it.
Plus, it actually has a plot that you can keep up with. The dialog was pretty entertaining. It got them some brownie points.

3 Speed Butterfly's Kiss

Today's review is for California's Exotic the Butterfly Kiss (3 speed edition). 

Mischief and myself both have a 3 speed, but Mischief managed to upgrade to a Platinum 9 speed. (Fancy-dancy vibrating powers!)

Information on this vibrator:

• Waterproof
• 3 speed with POWER
• Uses only 2 AAA batteries
• Clit and G-Spot stimulation
• Priced between $10 and $15 on most sites

Rating: 4 of 5

Biggest Complaint: Maybe it's just me, but the vibration eats batteries like no tomorrow. I've had to change them three times in a month. But I do use it for about 45 minutes per time... 

Biggest Benefit: An amazing G-spot orgasm. Not many vibrators promise the action of a Rabbit for a significantly lower price.

Tomorrow we shall grant you an update with the reviews of two porns! BatmanXXX and Avatar parodies!